While Their Souls Are Searching For The Light
by Jessica Wilson
Summary: Rachel Berry likes to over think everything. Faberry.


**Disclaimer**: I don't own Glee or Faberry... I wish!

_The title is after the song Body In A Box by City and Colour. I listened to it on repeat while writing this.  
_

_Reviews are always welcomed and appreciated!  
_

Rachel Berry was confused to say the least. The past couple of weeks had been a whirlwind of problem after problem with very little solutions. The start of everything, the point when it all turned for the worst was when Finn had gotten hit by a car. It was thanksgiving weekend and he had been speeding over to her house to deliver a blow that would have ended them. He was on his way to tell her about Santana. He had been texting and didn't see a car speed through a stop sign and he was hit. Rachel couldn't remember much of that day past the phone call but she remembered calling Quinn and remembered the blonde rushing from out of town to help her through it.

Quinn Fabray, the name made her head spin and her knees go weak. For some reason they had started being civil to one another and taking care of each other. Quinn had dragged her out camping without much warning in a futile attempt to make her spontaneous and rushed to the hospital when Finn was hit, leaving her family behind. Rachel had been so nice to her and had been supporting and helping her deal with some of the crap that happened as a result of the car accident.

That crap being Sam and Kurt. Unbeknownst to Quinn, the two boys had been developed feelings for one another while at the hospital. Sam watched Kurt struggle with Finn and fell in love. Unfortunately Quinn had to find out sooner or later and it seemed later was better for Sam; causing him to cheat on the blonde Cheerio.

Rachel watched the blonde struggle through that blow and eventually got fed up with Quinn's distance and sat outside her house for nine hours, waiting for her to come home. By the time Quinn arrived home, the tiny brunette was frozen, shaking, and wrapped in a small blanket in some sort of attempt to keep her body heat around her.

That was another pivotal point in the confusion; the day Quinn Fabray opened up to her.

She had gotten into the blondes car and they drove around, heat blasting and silence defining them both. It took Rachel an hour to get the blonde to even admit she was sad even though the pain had been visible for days. After that though, it only took a few more good pokes to get Quinn to open up and just spill everything. For some reason, whether it be the fact that Rachel called her beautiful despite the makeup running down her alabaster cheeks or the simple fact that for the first time in her life someone had cared enough to pry, Quinn kissed Rachel. It was a simple kiss; nothing special. Rachel didn't remember much after that other than leaving Quinn's car and walking around for a long time.

Somehow Rachel managed to get lost for the third day in a row and freaked right out. A million emotions rushed through her when she realized just how lost she was; fear, anger, sorrow. Somehow she convinced Quinn to come find her and take her home and only had to wait about ten minutes before the blonde pulled up; she wasn't as lost as she initially thought she was. Somewhere in the confusion Rachel had managed to ask Quinn to kiss her again and the blonde did. Quinn kissed her over and over again that night, not caring about anything to come.

Rachel broke up with Finn and she and Quinn had continued to explore the possibilities of their situation.

All those things were the reason Rachel Berry was lying in her bed staring at her ceiling with a huge migraine. It was one of the rare moments she'd had to herself since Quinn had kissed her and she was using to mull over everything. Their relationship, whatever it was, had progressed rather quickly and Rachel gave Quinn in two days what Finn had been trying for months to get; her virginity. But it wasn't just about the sex, though both thought it was amazing; Quinn was sweet to her. The blonde would hold her hand when they went walking, said the most amazing stuff to her and made her feel like she was walking on air. Rachel sighed and turned over; what did it all mean? She grabbed her phone off of the bed and shot the woman occupying her thoughts a text;

_You're beautiful. Thank you for last night... I was wondering... I know you're hanging out with Puck... but after do you want to do something? Like... actually do something... with me? If not it's okay... I do have to go shopping with Sam for a bit though..._

It had been an interesting day, to say the least. Rachel has convinced Quinn to go shopping with her and Sam and they had snuck away to be alone every time he turned around. Rachel should have cared but she couldn't bring herself to; the blonde was all she ever even noticed anymore. Eventually they had snuck off and now they were leaning against Rachel's car.

"I don't care where we go so just pick somewhere. I trust your judgment on a location to go. I just want to be with you." Rachel smiled and moved her body close to Quinn and the blonde automatically wrapped her arms around Rachel, bringing her flush against her.

"Let's go to my house, we never go there and I have a nice warm hot tub." Quinn pressed a light kiss to the brunette's temple and then rested their foreheads together.

"Hot tub? I do enjoy hot tubs and it will certainly help with staying warm in your frozen house." Quinn laughed and stepped back, pressing a soft, gentle kiss to the brunette's lips before getting in the car.

The ride to Quinn's was filled with everything that filled it since the kiss; their sexual tension, Quinn's sweet words and Rachel's nerves. As much as the brunette wanted to sit back and enjoy it like she did every other day, she couldn't. She started to shift uncomfortably in the seat about half way through the twenty minute drive but thankfully the blonde didn't notice.

Rachel had never been this confused in her life and that was saying something; the brunette was always confused about something. She had never developed feelings so quickly and so strong towards someone before; it reminded her of a love story.

That was the problem though, don't all love stories come to some tragic ending? They had started off so bitter and then it just blossomed. Rachel had never felt so right with someone; so in control but free. That's how all love stories started. Two people fall for each other despite the obvious differences and accept one another, annoying quirks and all. So if they were in the happy stage, heart break couldn't be more than a month away; because that's how it always is. One of the pair always snaps and starts to hate the annoying quirks instead of loving them. Rachel frowned; was Quinn going to get annoyed with her just like all other love stories? Rachel frowned further as she realized this wasn't a love story; this wasn't even love. It could be love but right now it was so many other things; lust, infatuation, desire… but not love.

Rachel hadn't realized how deep in thought she was until she was pulled out of the passenger's seat and was wrapped tightly in Quinn's arms. She sighed as she felt the weight of her thoughts lift from her shoulders and drift into the breeze. The blonde gently pressed a warm kiss into Rachel's brown locks and smiled. "What has you so deep in thought?" Rachel hid her forehead in Quinn's neck and Quinn felt the frown burning into her skin.

"Nothing really." Quinn moved hand under Rachel's chin and forced the brunette to look at her. Rachel's eyes tried to divert her gaze but Quinn's liquid hazel eyes were drawing her in and Rachel felt all of her emotions spin like a top. She suddenly felt close to tears and had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from letting them fall.

"Rach, I haven't seen you this deep in thought since the first night at the hospital." Rachel stiffened at the mention of the accident and she looked past Quinn at the house behind her. Quinn sighed and placed a cold hand against Rachel's cheek. She leaned into Quinn's hand despite her better judgment and closed her eye; the small gesture of affection was oddly comforting. Quinn watched the smaller girls face with sadness; she was so tired of watching Rachel battle her inner demons.

"It's nothing, really. Can we just go get in the hot tub?" Quinn creased her brow and brought her lips down to Rachel's forehead, placing a feather light kiss onto her skin. She took her small hand and led them into the Fabray house, not caring if she was practically dragging the smaller girl behind her.

Rachel had been in the large house before but it still felt like an unfamiliar and lonesome place. The walls were not adorned with pictures of the family like most and it caused the walls to loom over you in every room; it made Rachel feel so small and alone. The rooms were not furnished with things that looked inviting to perch upon; instead the rooms housed hard looking couches and beds. Nothing lured Rachel to the home, nothing made her want to stay; every time she would walk into the house she was greeted with chills instead of the warmth a home should have.

Quinn had moved to the brunette and wrapped her slender arms around the tiny brunette and Rachel relaxed. The instant calm that washed over her whenever Quinn wrapped her arms around her was almost eerie. "Hot tub is ready." Rachel nodded but didn't move. She gently threaded her fingers with Quinn's, still unsure about the gesture.

They had started off as friends who simply kissed a lot but that all faded when they took the next step. Since that day Rachel had learned that Quinn was either one of two ways; she was either really sweet or loving or she was really closed off and distant. Rachel could never tell what Quinn she would have to deal with and when and she could switch between the two without a moment's notice. Every time Rachel would go to take an intimate gesture like holding hands, she did so with caution and reservation. Sometimes Quinn would shy away and keep her distance and Rachel would get upset; though she hid it well. The moment Quinn realized she had upset the brunette she would let out a soft sigh and pull Rachel too her. But that wasn't how it should be and that always caused the Brunette to wonder how they could ever advance.

This however, was not one of the aforementioned instances. Quinn simply smiled at Rachel and bent down to press a soft kiss to her lips. Moments like this were what made Rachel wonder if maybe her initial love story analysis was wrong and that she and Quinn possibly had something worth keeping, worth fighting for. Would Rachel fight of it though? The brunette wasn't sure.

Quinn led her to the back deck and left her to get in the hot tub. Rachel moved to a dark corner and began to strip off her clothes; making sure to stay at an angle where Quinn couldn't see anything. She wasn't stripping down to nothing but she still felt vulnerable and terrified. She knew Quinn couldn't read her mind but the fact that she had allowed the blonde to know she was thinking so intently on something had basically created an open wound that Quinn could do with as she pleased. She took her time neatly folding her clothes in an attempt to calm her nerves and delay the inevitable conversations there were obviously going to have.

She slipped into the warm water and sat down beside the blonde, leaving a small gap between their submerged bodies. Rachel closed her eyes but snapped them back open moments later as she was being pulled into Quinn's lap. Rachel looked at the blonde nervously and Quinn smiled back before placing a soft kiss on Rachel's neck. She listened as compliments spilled from Quinn's lips, compliments no one had really said to her before. She closed her eyes and felt Quinn move her lips from her neck up to her jaw and then felt her eyes burn into her face momentarily before they were replaced with her lips. It wasn't sloppy or rushed; it was simple kiss, the kind of kiss they hadn't really shared much. Rachel swallowed and pulled back reluctantly. Quinn opened her eyes slowly and watched as Rachel's strong façade once again melted around her and her nervousness broke through.

"Why now? I don't mean to pry but… this is all so wonderful and I'm terrified this is going to come back and bite me in the ass." Quinn looked down and then back up at the brunette and smiled as she pulled Rachel closer to her, locking her hands behind the brunettes back. Rachel's head spun at the simple gesture and then grew more nervous.

"I'm not scared anymore and I just want to be with you." She moved and rested her forehead against Rachel's damp shoulder and sighed. Rachel sucked in as much air as she could and held it in, counting to ten before allowing it to pass through her lips. She wasn't sure if it was their proximity to one another of the confession but she could feel her skin grow warmer.

"Be with me how?" She felt Quinn chuckle and she smiled. If Quinn could find that funny than it couldn't be all that bad but the fact that Quinn was the notorious head bitch in charge meant that she could possibly be laughing at Rachel for falling into some trap she had created. She didn't want to believe Quinn was capable of something so low or that she would put her reputation on the line for some stupid plan but she still felt like it could be a distinct possibility.

"How do you think? I want to be able to kiss you whenever I want to, to walk with you hand-in-hand through the halls, to brag to everyone that I have the sexiest girlfriend ever." Rachel's stomach flipped; Quinn Fabray had just said the things Rachel had always wanted someone to say when they asked her out. She moved and brought Quinn's face up, looking her straight in the eyes. This was something she had been thinking about for days and she needed to be sure.

"I want that too, I really do." Quinn's hazel eyes lit up and she smiled adoringly at the brunette. Something in her eyes made Rachel finally believe everything that came out of Quinn's mouth without a second guess. She wasn't sure if it was just how excited the girl was or how honest and pure the happiness was.

"Then let's do it." Rachel's smile faulted for a moment as she thought about the severity of the situation if they were to do such things at school or anywhere a McKinley High School student happened to be. Quinn may not get a lot of crap about it because most of the student body feared her but she was Rachel Berry and the slushy facials would only get worse from here on in and she would have to live in more fear than she already did. She wasn't really sure if it was worth it; at least she wasn't until she looked back into Quinn's eyes.

"Are you sure? I want you to be sure." Quinn pressed another kiss onto Rachel's lips and the brunette closed her eyes; waiting for the blonde to second guess herself and tell her that no, she didn't want that or her. It never came though and she cautiously opened her eyes.

"I'm positive." Any doubts she had about school quietly left her mind as the words left Quinn's lips; spoken with so much honestly and certainty.

This wasn't going to be the world's best relationship, Rachel knew that. They would probably fight and say things they didn't mean but Rachel wouldn't allow herself to ever stay mad at Quinn, she couldn't. She was certain that the happiness Quinn gave her would be worth anything and she was never going to give that up. From here on in, she was always going fight for this because it was worth every ounce of fight she could give.


End file.
